To be honest, I have yet to fully comprehend my dreams of having a family one day. I am too happy with the one I have now. My mom, dad and sister are all I can ask for in the world. God has already blessed me with so much love through my family. I feel his presence through them and the unconditional love the make me feel. They are my life. I have always been given love, it is the first thing I ever knew—I never had to look for it, dream of it or aspire for it.
My life has always revolved around the one that I have now. No plans for future procreation have been made in my head. I am young, talented, and smart. I have bright and exciting future ahead of me, settling down is nowhere close my near future. Why should I deprive myself of my youth? I am 19 years old, having a family comes long after I graduate. I have to finish my thesis first, work for a while after, then travel the world later.
I am woman of strength and courage. I am an independent-thinker. I am a Catholic Filipino woman, bounded and respectful to the conservative society of which I belong to yet struggling to break-free in the confines of over-board traditional mentality. I am hardly the apple of a patriarchal society’s eye.
I am still young and restless, impatient and sometimes unkind. I still have to grow and improve as a person. I am imperfect in all of my ways although I strive for perfection. I have much, much more to look forward, for I look forward to the world. I am nowhere near ready to settle down but I do acknowledge the fact that someday I might be. I just have to live my life first and enjoy the world before I even think of committing the rest of my life to a marriage and a family.
Although I am not anti-marriage; I just don’t see marriage in my life right now. And don’t get me wrong I do believe in marriage, and what it stands for however what I don’t agree with are the people who are box-headed and closed-minded about this system. I am of course referring to Filipino conservative society’s belief that a woman should be married, be a housewife, have kids and tend to her husband for the rest of eternity. I am hardly the slave type.
Marriage is a wonderful thing between a man and a woman, but our patriarchal society has soiled its purity. Marriage is also not the only solution for love. Love can be shown in a myriad of ways, marriage is a commitment not just to love each other forever but also love the life of each other. I may not have plans for marriage right now, but I have greater respect for marriage than a lot of lovesick couples that enter it without knowing the responsibilities behind the party and the gown. I respect the commitment, love, trust, loyalty and system involved. I am aware that marriage is not just a promise to a person but also to God and the Church and at the same time I know that having a family is a full time commitment and it bears a lot of responsibility for a couple to handle.
At my age right now, marriage and family is still not on my mind that is why it is very hard for me to write this paper. I know that one day I might opt to marry and have a family, but that day is not today nor tomorrow or anywhere in the near future, for that matter. I do not bother my mind with problems I am yet to face. I am nowhere near that milestone in my life I am still enjoying my single college life. After all, distant water won’t quench my immediate thirst.
My main goal in life is to enjoy every part of it to the fullest. I want to experience all the phases in my life and get all that I can from each experience. I want to enter everything with full commitment and passion; with all readiness and willingness, thus I want to enter marriage prepared, willing and fulfilled—I have to be ready with myself first before I can give myself a whole different life.
All in all, regardless of whether or not I am able to get a husband and bear a child—I dream of having a family with the world. I want my life to be happy and I feel that happiness with every kind act I do, with every good I impart and with all the love I try to express. It’s hard but honestly, I’m very, very happy right now—I have learned to be kinder and more patient with the people around me, I have learned how to forgive and ask for forgiveness—my pride no longer gets the best of me. I love it when I walk and smiling face greet me. I am in love with the world, infatuated with life, committed to God and loyal to good—yet I am but human imperfect in all of my ways but learning with all of my mistakes. I am excited to make my dreams come true, I am excited to live tomorrow but I am happier right now and today.
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