MORE! MORE! MORE!

I was originally going to write about how I love movies, and film making; and how I am infatuated with things regarding the media! But then, I thought… my friends have always told me that my lists of dreams are too broad and unlimited. and I often talk about how I wanted to become a director, a movie producer, a writer, a pilot, a dentist, a doctor, a professor, a businesswoman, an economist, a elect official, a business consultant, a systems analyst, a musician, a photographer, a fashion designer, an architect, a zoologist, a veterinarian, a anthropologist, a scientist, and much, much more! So I thought to myself, it's not just directing or movie making that i'm interested it, there's so much more i want in life... Then i lingered and wondered, why could that be? so i thought...

I guess, my parents never raised my to close my door on anything. The world is of course mine for the taking, and my life is, and always will be my blank piece of paper. They never taught me how to stop dreaming, that’s why I guess, I don’t know how too. What a life they taught me to live, a life with no boundaries and filled with opportunities.

You’d probably think it is a life without direction, and maybe sometimes it may seem that way, but in actuality it’s a life worth living filled with possibilities. Because, they taught me to finish what I have started and to start only what I wanted. Moreover, it is not my profession that will dictate who I am, neither will my degree limit me, nor will my history bound me, but it is my person who makes my profession--- that give me direction and passion.

Let’s put it this way:

My parents placed me in a cliff and I am almost to fall. But before they did, they taught me, not how to fly, but how look beyond the bounds of the land I am in. They taught me how to balance and ground my feet, so as I look at the view I won’t fall. It is a trait of the mind, to be able to look as far and further beyond the boundaries of life and yet still be grounded with reason. They taught me, to never be afraid of the unknown because all I have to do is look closer and the fear goes away. Ignorance is what frightens us; to know is that which liberates the mind from fear.

So why didn’t my parents teach me how to fly? Because to fly is suicide, that is, dreaming without ambition or passion or ability or commitment. A dream is after all just and always will be a dream, a figment of the mind, an illusion of the soul. And without the means of making it real, and grounding idea with reality, then that is an unfulfilled life. Yes, it is a life as colorful as you can imagine but a life lived in sleep nonetheless.

In lieu of that, balance was what they taught me. To keep looking as far beyond as I possibly can, and still be in the bounds of reality.

But sometimes, it’s hard to live that life. To know that the universe is boundless, and at the same time to be aware that in order to live you have to limit yourself to the things most worthwhile demands much prudence. And yet I write, knowing that I have much to look forward to, because I know nothing, and I have much passion to keep on knowing.

Isn’t it much easier to live a life already laid out, planned, scripted?! Hahahaha. Not for me I guess. So whenever I think of envying, those kids whose parents already planned their future... i stop and think that I'm just afraid, because i know that i dont know what the future has for me, and that is frightening but it is, at the same time empowering to know that i am the one to make it, and all the freedom is mine to shape and mold the story that is my life!

and maybe the reason, why i can't make myself write in one direction, in one thesis is because my mind is too open, to close itself in one context. hahahah joke. nakakahilo magisip, especially when i can only think of one thing at a time. hahaha. There's so many things in life... that when i try to look around and comprehend i get dizzy, because i am, after all merely a finite being in this infinite universe.

So what do I plan with my life? First is to graduate, then see what happens from there. Hahaha.

I still want everything! and it's fun to know that i can only have a few-- the challenge is to think hard of what in everything is the most worthwhile for me.